Scholarly Love

There have been many that have influenced me into who I am today.  There have been my parents, teachers, drill instructors, professors, mentors, my wife, my children and countless others that I have crossed paths with in my life.  Out of all of these people one stands out above them all.  This would be my grandmother, Edna Forbes.

She did not have an education beyond the sixth grade, yet she was one of the most erudite people that I have ever had the pleasure of being around.  When you went to stay at grandma’s house, which I did every day after school until I was twelve and every summer until I was eighteen, you stayed in the spare bedroom where there was bookshelves full of Time Magazine, National Geographic, encyclopedias and numerous other books.  There was also stacks of crossword puzzles that were in every corner of the room, half of them done and others that were not yet finished.  Out in the living room there was always a scrabble game that was ready to go on the desk and a Webster’s Dictionary sit right next to it.  There were a plethora of wisdom and knowledge that was always in my presence while at her house.

All of these items were not stoic.  When I was there the first thing that we would do in the morning would be to play a game or two of scrabble before breakfast.  It was frustrating playing with her at first, for she would always beat me and whenever I would play a word I would have to tell her what the definition of that word was.  I was not just allowed to play the words that she had played, she wanted me to know them for what they were.  Later in the day she would have me pick a magazine off of the bookshelf and read it.  After I had read it we would always sit down and analyze the article.  She would make me give an explanation of why I felt the way I did about the article and if I did not have evidence for my explanation she would find another article for me to read that would either support or oppose the view that I had taken.  She was giving me the greatest gift that anyone can give another person, the gift of knowledge and understanding.

Going beyond the scholarly, she also helped to instill in me the rewards of perseverance.  She showed me this many times in her life.  The first being after her quadruple bypass surgery when she was 59 years old.  The doctors told her that she would only make it five to ten more years if she did do certain things.  Well, grandma being as obstinate as anyone I know did it her way and lived until the age of 85, her way.  Along the way she did have a stroke that took away her ability to write for a while, but when she came home she sat on the floor for three days learning how to make her letters and write again.  She showed me that you can do anything that you want and can be whatever you want.  It is all in you, you just have to press through and fight for it, even when the cards are stacked against you.

She was harder on me than anybody else ever was.  She demanded more of me than everybody else ever did.  We did not get gifts on Christmas, but since she was a baker, we always did get a homemade cake on out birthday.  She did not give compliments readily and was slow to praise.  What she did give was an example of how to be and gifts beyond what I could comprehend at that time.  Now that I am older, I see what it was that she has given me and every day I thank her for what she has done for me.  Everything I accomplish and degree I receive is equated to the things that she has done for me.  She will be right there on that stage the day that I receive my doctoral degree.